Is Sexuality or Misogyny the Problem? 110 Talk # XII (transcript)

Welcome to 110 Talk.

This is episode number 12.

I started this back in June, and I am so excited to continue to be build out this podcast with new topics and things that are currently going on in the discussion because here, nothing is off the table.

The question today is sexuality or misogyny the problem?

The reason that I think this is so relevant is this goes back to ancient times, before any of us living right now we're even birthed onto this planet.

And why do I want to discuss this topic?

Because there are current things going on, both identities and also policy discussions that are part of the public narrative that all ties back to this.

So I would like to take us first back to the year 2008.

Doesn't that seem like quite a long time ago now?

Some of you listening might have been babies or just born.

But I remember this time vividly.

I was in school, college at San Diego State, and there were some political issues that were bubbling to the surface in our discussion.

First was, we were on the border of, although we didn't know it at the time in early 2008.  We were on the edge of an economic collapse with the mortgage crisis.

But before we got there, there were two big things that were happening.

The first was in regards to the presidential election.  The primaries were happening. And of course, we had had Mr. Obama and Mrs. Clinton that were running against each other on the Democratic side.  And that was a big, dramatic knuckle biting…. Is that the right word?  It was a very suspenseful, primary process.  And I actually remember Hillary had come to San Diego State and I got to see her speak and I went to her stump speech and I was very, very moved by what she had to say.

And that was the real point where I started to do my research.

And I actually ended up casting my first vote ever for Hillary Clinton in 2008.

And of course, I love President Obama.

He's my favorite president that we've had this far.

But first, I did vote for Hillary.

The second thing that happened in early 2008 is that the California courts overturned the law that prevented same-sex marriage.

It was a big celebration.

There were many, many happy people, not only in California, but across the country and the world that love had won in the biggest state in the country and the cultural leaders of the country and arguably the world.

So there was a lot of initial celebration.

And then what happened is they put something on the ballot that was designed to overturn same-sex marriage.

And this was known as Proposition 8.

So there was a lot of protests.

I believe Proposition 8 actually ended up passing in the end before the United States Supreme Court later legalized all same-sex marriage in 2015.

But it became a movement and an issue in the cultural discussion around that time.

There also was an artistic movement that came about known as No H8, where the people being photographed would have duct tape over their mouth and a little makeup tattoo of the No H8 logo.

Celebrities were involved.

Normal people were involved.

All of us were able to participate.

And I actually was able to get my No H8 photo of a few years later while I was in Washington, D.C. And one of the reasons that I'm mentioning the No H8 campaign now is actually, they're still doing it.

I got an email about another one happening in Los Angeles.

I think it's September 14th, if anyone wants to go.

I don't know that I need another photo from this campaign, but I love that they're still doing it because it was a big cultural moment in response to that legislation.

Let's talk about sexuality for a second.

It has become something that has become part of our identities in the current discussion.

We think of it sometimes as the way that we were born.

And that's how the current public dialogue comes to think about it.

And that's fine.

I think that whoever you decide that you are is correct and it is valid and it should be honored and respected.

But I like to think about sexuality instead of all of the labels that we've come to put on it, I like to think about it as human.

Sexuality is human.

To me, sexuality is also sacred.

I shared in my recent book that I published that there was a time when I slept around a little bit too much and I admitted that.

But recently, I have been refraining from sexual activity because I choose to think about my own sexuality as sacred in addition to human.

And again, we have the freedom in this world to live however we want that should always be protected and nobody's way should be stigmatized or shamed.

I want to put this into context of the ancients, into the context of ancients that were around way, way, way before anyone living on this planet.

This revelation was actually inspired by a YouTube video that I watched about the sexuality in ancient times in Rome.

In ancient times, in both Italy and in Greece, sexuality between men, sex between men, was not something that was shamed if it was done right.

In Greece, it did romanticize relationships between men, specifically, sometimes younger men and older men.

In Rome, however, it was a little bit different.

In Rome, they did not care about men having sex.

That was acceptable. With a caveat.

It was acceptable if you were the one in the man position.

A Roman could be out there fucking other men as long as as he was not the one in the female position.

Because if he was the one in the female position, that is where the shame, that is where the ridicule, that is where the mocking and the ostracizing would come in.

So they did not like how the Greeks romanticized the sexuality and the relationships between men.

But if it was not romanticized and if you were the one in the position of power, especially if it was a foreigner that you were being intimate, having sex with, everything was all good.

So back in the day, it was not about the relations between two men or the identity perceived of the men.

It was about the inherent power structure that was there.

That leads me to the question of today.

Is sexuality or is misogyny the problem?

And to put it into the current context, I want to remember a couple of elections from the last few years, both 2016 and 2024.

We had two of arguably the most qualified people to ever run for the office of President, Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris.

We had arguably two of the best candidates that we have ever had in the entire human history.

If we look back at some of the attacks that were launched against them, I think we can find a lot of evidence of misogyny, sexism, double standards.

And if we look at the course of history since those elections, I think we may even find some switchers of sides who might agree with that assessment.

Even back in ancient times where between men, it was okay for sex and intimacy as long as you're not in the female position.

It begs the question, why inherently as humans, do we believe that the female position in sex is not equal to the male position?

Because there is so much oppression in this world of women that I believe we need to solve.

Yes, in the United States with women possibly being denied the option for healthcare as it relates to making choices about their own body.

I just read, and this is, of course, after the Supreme Court struck down Roe v. Wade, but I just read an article that said that Texas has actually passed a law that denies people the ability to receive mail that includes birth control.

If that's not oppression to women, I don't know what is.

And what really bothers me, I'm very careful to say that I am a man.

I know that I am a man, and I don't have the authority to speak on this as much as a woman does because I can never be in that position.

But with that being said, take what I say with a grain of salt.

The thing that bothers me the most about the restriction on women in this country to reproductive healthcare services is that it is the poorest women in our country that bear the brunt of this.

They are the ones that that cannot afford to go across state lines to be able to get the healthcare services that they need.

Everyone else who has the resources actually most likely will be able to go somewhere else to get the services that they need.

But this punishes the poorest, most disadvantaged women in our country.

And that is why I believe that this law is even more evil than it appears on the surface to give the power back to the states and make this a huge mess of going across state lines.

Furthermore, we know that there is oppression around the world that is unconsciounable.

Some of the atrocities that are committed against women around the world are just horrifying.

Even simple things that sound like, oh, that's not too bad.

Access to education, access to be able to get a micro loan or funding to start a business and chart a path of independence.

There are so many examples that I'm sure we could talk about for hours, days, weeks, or even months.

These are sometimes uncomfortable topics to discuss both sexuality and misogyny, but I actually think that they are linked.

It is all driven by this mindset of male superiority, which is false.

We are all humans, males are equal to females, and we are all beautiful - the way that we were born, the way that we were created.  We should have the freedom in this world to pursue what we want to pursue , to create what we want to create, as long as we're not hurting people in that process and to love who we want to love.

I would never tell anyone whether they identify as homo hetero bi, I would never tell them that that is wrong, but I would just put it into the context of realizing that this identity that we've currently placed onto sexuality is a relatively new thing.

It did not used to be like that.

And I think in many cases, it actually does limit our human sexuality.

So with that being said, I would love to know your thoughts on this.

I would love to know if you think sexuality or misogyny is the problem and how they relate to each other in the context of both the ancient history and also this current moment that we find ourselves in.

From my heart to yours, love and light, I wish you freedom and happiness.

Let's free ourselves and let's make this world a little bit more free and a little bit less limiting for those who come after us.